While God wasn't looking, certain people decided to spread the evil word and get us humans hooked on terrible, terrible works of "literature." Back in the 19th century, ladies were addicted to the Gothic romance novel. They read about the pursuit of love, even if it meant fighting demons, searching a haunted house, or, even better, adventures on the foggy moors of England. Women (and some men) loved these books, while their elders believed that they caused the girls to be "flippant" or "silly." Parents wouldn't let their daughters read them in the fear that it would "excite their womb" (I'm not kidding). Though, they still got their hands on them, they had to do it on the sly, lest Daddy find out. Now, girls proudly strut into a bookstore and load up on all kinds of mindless garbage. Some organizations out there may protest that they are corrupting the minds of our youth, but instead of curbing the enthusiasm, it just seems to add fuel to the fire.
I am talking, of course,about the with the cursed, inane, and absolutely tragic examples of female-centric literature. Keep in mind, this is the same group of people that read Gothic romances 200 years ago. Now instead of masked highwaymen saving the damsels in distress, we have an anemic, sparkly vampire resisting the sexual advances of a milquetoast moron. Instead of danger around every corner of a haunted catacomb, we have a sadistic madman chaining a barely-legal to God knows what for fun. These books seem to prove the elders of the 19th century right when they say that it "excites the womb." I can't tell you how many people have used the aforementioned books to spice up their love life and (occasionally) get pregnant. No joke. The poorly written, thin-plotted, S&M novel that everyone is all gaga over has actually given some women ideas. While my hatred for sparkly vampires will be the subject of another post, I will now discuss how a certain trilogy has heated the libidos of women of almost all ages.
I've been reading romance novels since I was about 14. I thank my darling cousin for buying one for me as a joke from the dollar store--"Steal Me, Sweet Thief." Hundreds of cookie-cutter romances later, and I'm still reading them. I am in no way claiming that these are works of high literature, written by some of the greatest minds of our time, but they know they aren't winning a Pulitzer for them. My point is, whatever is in said S&M trilogy cannot in any way, shape, or form be different from the thousands of erotic romance novels out there. Go visit my bookshelf, I guarantee that you will find something much more titillating. The great thing about a lot of erotica is that it doesn't try too hard to have a story line. The one thing I have heard about this S&M novel is that there was too much sex and the story line was thin. If this book is such a great read, shouldn't it excite your mind instead of your womb? If you want to write an erotic novel, then just do it. Some of the best erotica I've ever read don't have complex story lines. The characters have issues, but they aren't important. The books are written to excite ladies and give us a taste of sexuality without having to read "Letters to Penthouse." There is some depraved stuff out there and if you think said S&M "masterpiece" is anything different, I have a few books to show you...and S&M is only the beginning.
NOW GO OUT THERE AND READ SOMETHING OF VALUE, LADIES. SOMETHING LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, LITERATURE?
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