Top 5 Thing My Future Child Will Know How to Do Before Age 10

There are some skills that everyone should know--skills that you should know by the time you reach a certain age.  Everyone knows that person that doesn't know how to, say, play Old Maid or tell a Warhol from a Van Gogh, but these things are excusable (up to a point).  The following five things, however, are not.  If I ever reproduce, my offspring will know how to do these by the time they reach age 10.  They don't have to be masters or even like doing them, but I don't want my kids being known as "the boy/girl who can't [insert skill]".  Kids have enough problems without that embarrassing stigma.

5. Make change
I'm not a math master and I still occasionally use my fingers to count, but even I know how to make change.   A skill most effectively honed working in retail, this is something that kids should know early on.  It's painful watching a cashier not know how much money to give back when your bill comes to $7.50 and you hand over $20.  You may find yourself telling them, in a frustrated manner, "I get $12.50 back" before storming off in a huff.  Therefore, just teach your kids how to count--forwards and backwards--and all will  be well.

4. Name the states
This is something that must be practiced in order to stay good at it.  Most people learned the states as a kid but now a lot of them can't identify Nebraska or Georgia on a map.  This is your country, for heaven's sake.  It's not that difficult and there are only 50 of them (forget Puerto Rico and Guam).

3. Feed themselves
Everyone should know how to make grilled cheese or an egg.  I obviously won't let my kid have free access to the stove, but they should at least know how to cook something should the need ever arise.  At the very least, they will know how to make microwave mac and cheese.

2. Ride a bike
"But, Stephanie, who doesn't know how to ride a bike?"  Plenty of people, and it's mad sad.  The above three items are somewhat acceptable to be ignorant of but nothing will earn you the furrowed brow of your fellow humans that telling them you don't know how to ride a bike.  The saying "it's like riding a bike" doesn't exist because 12 people know how to do it.

1. Swim
This is a basic life skill that everyone should know.  "But I grew up in the city!," you whine.  Do you not have a YMCA?  Is there not a body of water nearby to visit?  You can live through a situation that involves you not being able to do the aforementioned items, but you can't live through a scenario where you can't swim.